Share the Road?

You've seen the signs. The bumper stickers. The happy lil' window decals. "Share the Road", they say. An admonition to us stupid mean car and truck drivers not to be dicks and make life hard on the poor poor motor- and bi-cyclists out there on the streets.

Well, today, I just got schooled (yet again) by their spokesperson. Let's call him DMA (Dumbshit Motorcyclist A) for short.

DMA came upon me shortly after I turned onto Taylorsville Road from Dutchman's Lane. I happened to be lucky enough not to make the light at Pee Wee Reese Field Lane, and found myself in the front of the right lane. The light, after its usual interminable wait, turned green, and I took off, setting the cruise control at about 35mph (it's a 35mph area). Checking my mirrors (I try to hit each of them at least twice every ten seconds) rapidly revealed DMA to me.

He was back there a ways, interspersed in the other (non-cycle) vehicles, but I, having been duly admonished to 'Share the Road', kept a watchful eye out for him. About a block from the light, he roared up the dotted line, weaving between the strung-out cars and trucks, and rocketed past me at about 55mph.

He had no helmet. Just a white painter's hat to help the emergency respondents locate his head after his accident, whenever it happens.

Gritting my teeth to aid in biting back and swallowing the bile of watching impotently as yet another lawless asshole shat all over traffic law yet again, I glared at his rapidly diminishing form.

He had to slow for traffic ahead though, and I approached him as we both approached Bardstown Road. Then, without warning (or, natchurallee, signaling), he turned into the McDonald's parking lot (Big Mac attacks can happen ANYTIME, I guess). So I stopped behind the car ahead waiting at the light, it changed, and I turned onto B-road, nearly home. The light at Wrocklage was agin' me, and I stopped behind the same car as before, and noted, with some rage, DMA in the left lane. Yep, he scooted through the McD's parking lot to evade the light onto B-road from Taylorsville, and didn't save a second, because there I was, close enough to spit on him (which I managed to restrain myself from doing).

I can only pray this asshole has his organ donor card filled out, and that he hasn't bred yet.

Lesson of the day?

"Share the Road" means "Pull over and park while we ride where we please, as we please, for as long as we please."

DMA can KMA.

This just in, Raving Douchebag simply can't STFU

(Click the title to see the asswad in question.)

Dude, seriously, STFU.

STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU, STFU,for the love of Satan, STFU!

You are one of Satan's best and most publicly visible helpers, asswad. It's pricks like you that give Christianity a bad name. Do the universe a favor and shoot your Alzhiemer-infested brain with an elephant gun, please.