Thursday, March 29, 2007
I'd rather be a hammer than a nail...
If I was an hour of the day... I would be the midnight hour.
If I was a planet... I would be Mercury, simmering in the sun. My cold side would freeze you solid, my hot side would cause you to burst into flames.
If I was a direction... I would be aki (one of the cardinal directions of the fourth dimension. Up, down, left, right, in, out, aki, neta.).
If I was a piece of furniture... I would be an overstuffed sofa positioned strategically in front of a fireplace, perfect for reading in on rainy days or snuggling in with a lover on wintry ones.
If I was a liquid... I would be molten silver.
If I was a sin... I would be a dead heat between sloth and gluttony.
If I was a rock... I would be part of a Playmate's belly-jewel (rock as in diamond, dig?).
If I was a tree... I would be home to a family of man-eating squirrels.
If I was a fruit... I would be a watermelon.
If I was a flower... I would be pressed flat in a book.
If I was a musical instrument... I would be a steel guitar.
If I was an element... I would be argon.
If I was color... I would be the golden fire of sun behind thin clouds. Yeah.
If I was an animal... I would be a tortoise.
If I was a sound... I would be keyboard keys clattering.
If I was music... I would be 'In the Halls of the Mountain King'.
If I was a music style... I would be classic rock.
If I was a feeling... I would be that nagging sensation that you've forgotten something important.
If I was a book... I would be 'To Serve Man'.
If I was a food... I would be spaghetti and meatballs with sausage.
If I was a place... I would be The Lost Temple where the Mystic Frammistat that is the only weakness of the Big Bad Guy Threatening All of Existence is kept. I would be loaded with booby-traps, and guarded by fanatics. You'd die before you crossed the threshold.
If I was a flavor... I would be chocolate and peanut-butter.
If I was a scent... I would be the all-pervasive aroma of someone else's perfectly-popped popcorn, driving you insane just before lunchtime.
If I was a word... I would be 'supercalifragilistic-expialidocious'.
If I was a verb... I would be 'endure'.
If I was an object... I would be a trip hazard
If I was a part of the body... I would be the male brain... the lower brain.
If I was a facial expression... I would be a bemused smile.
If I was a cartoon character... I would be Wile E. Coyote.
If I was a movie... I would be "War of the Roses".
If i was a form.. I would be IRS 1099-G.
If I was a number... I would be the square root of -1.
If I was a season... I would be paprika.
If I was a sentence... I would be life without possibility of parole.
Anaphylactic shock sufferers rejoice!!
Of course, while you're dancing for your new-found freedom from allergic shock, you'll want to find some way to prevent scurvy, because without those bees, it'll be more than honey and wax that disappears from grocery aisles.
Say good-bye to fruits, vegetables, and everything that eats them, like cattle, pigs, and people.
So cheer up! That massive population die-off that everyone's been expecting, it's coming soon, and we're gonna take most of the planet with us when we check out. Way to go, human race!
(Oh, oh yeah. I noticed they listed four possible causes, not one of which was the introduction of GM plants to the ecosystem. Fuckin' great investigative reporting, guys, fuckin' great.)
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Union Yes! (Just not in the US)
Oh, right, sorry. Okay, for those of you who weren't aware, the average issue of Playboy has maybe twenty of its 120-140 pages devoted to pictures of nekkid wimmen. Page 50 of the latest issue (April 2007), is where a story in Forum (not at all like Penthouse Forum, trust me) talks about something good in Iraq.
Labor Unions are forming in Iraq. Pro-western, feminist, anti-fundamentalist, labor unions. And they have received no support at ALL from the US government up to now. In fact, in 2005, one of their leaders was strangled in his home because the US would not un-freeze the union's assets so they could hire bodyguards to protect him.
So, Democratic Party, you are on notice. Get the lead out of your asses and help these people.
Now.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Oh, one small thing...
That's right, I'm helping out with St. Baldrick's Day. (And a month will pass before I'm at the wedding, so I should look ok by then, relax.)
So click on the title of this entry to go to the link to my Shavee site. And don't forget your credit cards.
Rumors
Diagnosis: pneumonia. Doc gave me some powerful antibiotics, an inhaler for congestion, and some
So, anyway, that's why I've been kind of quiet lately. Too sick to blog. Too sick to even do a serviceable job of lying on a couch watching TV.
But I'm feeling much better now... here's hoping the medicinal regimen I'm on does the trick.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Memoire-aide, now with 'w'!!
So here's a memoire-aide for you, for me:
Abortion: I oppose using abortion as after-the-fact contraception. I have no problems with using it to end a pregnancy that threatens the life of the mother, such as an ectopic pregnancy, or one complicated by pre-eclampsia or any of a host of other things. (Mind you, I also think a woman who toughs something like that out and has the baby anyway, risking her life in the process, is nothing short of a bona-fide heroine par excellance. But I wouldn't require it of anyone.)
I'm not entirely comfortable with the decision, but I've lumped pregnancies caused by rape or incest in with that, since post-partum depression complicated by post-traumatic stress disorder can increase risk of suicide, so no, I don't oppose abortions being available to rape or incest victims either.
The last exception, and one I'm really, REALLY uncomfortable with, and could VERY easily be talked back out of, is for pregnancies where the child has been found to possess some minor or major abnormality that will reduce its quality of life in some way. My uneasiness with this exception varies inversely with the severity of the defect, IE minor abnormalities like Down's syndrome or Cerbal Palsy make me exceptionally squeamish, while major shit like ancephalia gives me little to no pause.
Basically, if you haven't been raped, your baby's daddy isn't your: brother, (grand)daddy, or uncle, nor a close cousin; and the pregnancy poses no more serious health risk than a typical pregnancy does, and the child on the way has nothing wrong with it to speak of, you have no business ending it's life. By this point, it's been established that no one held a gun to the mother's head to make her pregnant. To my knowledge, pregnancy is the only circumstance a person can get themselves into that large groups of people see nothing wrong with them weaselling their way out of by killing someone else (or even maybe killing someone else, if you're one of those people who thinks that the lack of development on the child's part somehow makes it okay to kill them because they aren't 'human enough' yet).
Anna-Nicole Smith: Has creeped me out ever since the movie (Naked Gun 33 and a third?) where she plays a 'chick with a dick'. Just couldn't look at her after that without getting squeamish. I'm sorry she's dead. Oh, and I most definitely am NOT her baby's daddy. But still, is it just me, or was she kinda homely, in the face? I mean, seriously, her face reminded me of the front of a Mack truck, too darn wide, and a real big grill.
Apartheid: I don't like it. Not even a little bit. I used to give some credence to the idea that some people simply make bad neighbors for each other, but once I realized that that assertion was based on skin color, nah, to hell with that noise. Learn to play nice with each other. Stop being dicks to people because they're 'funny-lookin'.
Baseball: The only real American sport.
Capitalism: I like it. Lassiez-faire is everywhere! People should be allowed to fend for themselves however they choose, and help whomever they please (or no one at all if they so choose). People who claim to believe in freedom of choice had best support capitalism, lest they be seen as hypocrites.
Cloning: What's the big deal? You can't clone a person and get a perfect copy with the same memories, that's fantasy. I think the legal status of cloned humans should be that of 'child of the donor'. Cloning animals for meat or other properties sound like a fantastic idea, assuming it can be done safely. Cloning just an organ would be great, and solve all kinds of problems.
Communism: I'm with history on this one. Doesn't work, never has, never will. No one wants to be told what job to learn and do. No one wants to see their hard work go to someone else's benefit without so much as a thank you, let alone fair market value, save that they give it voluntarily.
Corporatism: I have nothing against businesses per se, but when they get to the corporate stage, too large a gap comes into being between the workers and the highest levels of management. Once this gap is reached, management suddenly loses its ability to see its workforce as human, and begins treating them like assets to buy and sell. I understand that business is business, and the business of business is making a profit, I get it. But while a human can sit back, take stock of his possessions, and realise contentment, and think to himself: 'I have enough, I am happy.', a corporation cannot do this. It is never content, it must always grasp after more and more. And it will sacrifice anyone and anything to get more, no matter who is hurt.
Defense: I believe the only valid reason for the existence of national governments is to protect their citizens from other national governments. Obviously, the second-best way to do this is to have such a powerful standing armed force, that no sane nation would attack them, or make friends with such a nation. The best way is to have lots of friends, and few or no enemies. Unfortunately, the 'best way' is sadly unrealistic in the face of global threats to world peace like Islam and Communism.
Democracy: A nice idea, too bad it won't work above the level of city government.
Democrats (the party): Thoroughly useless idiots. Thankfully, they're mostly harmless, because while they're highly prone to wailing and gnashing of teeth over the personal problems of total strangers that really aren't anyone's fault but the total strangers', their only solution to anything is to throw money at it and hope it goes away. AKA DemonicRats.
Education: I think education is far too important to let the goverment mess it up. Education should be privatized immediately if not sooner. At most the government should be allowed to establish a base curriculum, with minimum requirements for arts, history, science, math, and language, and allow the educators and students to decide what to prioritize. If graduates of a particular school can't find jobs: a) they can sue for breach of contract, b) current students (and their parents) can pull them out and put them in a more successful school, and c) parent organizations can pool resources to improve their own schools without oversight. Competition is always best for the consumer. Where is the competition for public education? In private schools that everyone wants their kids in already; clearly private education is already better than public, else no market would exist for it.
Environment: Something we need to take a lot better care of, starting a long time ago.
Federal Gun Control: It's against the law in the US. Try reading the 2nd Amendment some time. The states can have all the gun control their voters will pass referendums for, I could give a rat's ass. But I happen to think the Constitution was a pretty good idea, and oughtn't be messed with by some 'well-intentioned' individuals who think they know better than everyone else.
Football: A fairly stupid name for a marginally interesting game.
Foreign Policy: See Defense.
GM Foods/Animals: I think experimentation should not be considered complete until a realistic assessment of the impact on the natural envirmonment is completed. The only legitimate way to do this is by testing such products in an enclosed ecosystem for years and years, until everything in said testbed has gone through a few generations to see if anything weird shows up. Until that's done, no GM product should be allowed to enter the natural ecosystem.
Goths: Tee-hee, they're so cute. Emos with lousy fashion sense.
Health Care: I believe that everyone has the right to find a job that offers affordable health insurance, or to refuse to work for companies that don't (which will force the companies to do so, thereby making the point moot). I also believe that people have the right to refuse a treatment if they believe it violates their beliefs.
Immigration: Anyone who opposes immigration into the US should be deported immediately. If there's any shortage of room in this country, it's for narrow-minded, bigoted, racist dipwads like them.
Indy-car Racing: A bunch of furriners turning left, really really really fast. Yeah, sign me up for that... not.
Islam: The single greatest threat to world peace since communism. Exterminate it now, and free the masses toiling under its yoke. Institutionalized misogyny and racism is not a valid belief system.
Judicial Review: Is for giving new laws a go or no-go, not creating new ones.
K I fully support the eleventh letter of the alphabet.
Lacrosse: I'm with Carlin on this one. Faggot college activity. It used to be a sport, back when it was played by native Americans.
Metric System: WTF, already America? Gonna join the rest of the planet in the new millennium or what?
NASCAR: A bunch of rednecks turning left, really really fast. Oh yeah, sign me right up for that... not.
Nuclear Power: Something to be used as a last resort, in utmost desperation, after exhausting utterly all other possible avenues. The cost of storing spent fuel should be added to the generating costs, and reflected on the customers' bills to properly reflect its real cost.
Nuclear Proliferation: Enough countries have nuclear weapons already. We don't need any more members in the nuclear club, most especially, we do not need backward, beknighted, medieval societies (like any controlled by Islam) getting the bomb. I feel so strongly about this that I would accept the use of nuclear weapons to stop the development of nuclear weapons by a potential new member.
Origami: Sculpting animals and cool shapes with paper? Neato!! I've mastered quite a few shapes myself.
Pharmaceuticals: Specifically, the big multi-nationals that make all the pills. Heh, didja see the movie 'Fight Club'? You know at the end, how they blow up all the credit card company buildings, and supposedly wipe everyone's slates clean'? Yeah, well, swap out the credit card companies for the pharmaceuticals, and swap out early in the morning when no one's in them for 'right in the middle of the stockholder's meeting when they give out the quarterly report on how much they screwed everyone over for', and that's my opinion of them. The researchers? Oh, you silly silly fools, the researchers aren't there. They're not even in special buildings devoted to research. They're doctors working on stipends (and parsimonious stipends at that) experimenting on their patients in hospitals (waivers all signed nice and legal like, don't you doubt it). Most of the pharmaceutical's R&D costs are footed by John Q Taxpayer.
Q I'm not really sure we need the 17th letter of the alphabet, 'Kw' seems to cover it nicely. Also, the character on ST Jr. was kinda 'the ghey'. Not so much the actor, as the role itself.
Reality TV: Needs to be outlawed, abolished, and thoroughly put to a stop, preferably last year. I turn my TV on to escape reality, not to immerse in it. If I want reality on TV, I'll watch CNN, dammit.
Republicans: AKA Money-Grublicans. Thouroughly despicable bastards. Excellent problem-solving abilities, but only interested in solving problems getting money into their pockets, or those of their campaign contributors. Will gladly lie, cheat, steal, or sell their own mother into slavery for a percentage.
Role-playing Games: Something kids should be encouraged to play, since sitting at a table doing math and reading is highly prefereable to shooting up drugs, knocking up fellow teens, or doing drive-by shootings. People strongly opposed to RPGs on the basis that they are bad for kids need to be euthanised, or at bare minimum sterilised.
Soccer: A legitimate sport, as a ball is involved, but a really lame one since you can't use your hands.
Tennis: An excellent sport when played by attractive women in short skirts and tight tops who grunt a lot, otherwise exceedingly dull. Used to be great when John McEnroe and Bjorn Bjorg went at it, but those days are long gone.
United Nations, The: When was the last time they made a situation, like, ANY situation, better instead of worse? And was that done in time to prevent the worst parts of its bad side? A worthless institution, that exists in its current form to facilitate internation corruption more than cooperation. Evict them from Manhattan, and rent the building out as office space.
Vampires: Wouldn't want to be one. I don't handle the sight of blood very well, so I just don't think it's a lifestyle I'm cut out for.
'W': Why wait for 2008? Impeach the prick now!!
X: Far more useful as a symbol than a letter. Still marks the spot, though.
Y: Because we like you!!
Zombies: I think I'm pretty well prepared for a slow zombie apocalypse, mentally speaking. I've also got a nice set of swords to hack em up with. Hoping really hard for the slow zombies. Whoever thought up fast zombies needs to be beaten hard with a shovel. If we get fast zombies, I'm just gonna die.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
This just in...
Friday, February 09, 2007
Hmmm...
In other news, is it just me, or am I some kind of freako?
The last few posts here have wandered all over the left-right spectrum... hard-core fundy 'famulee VAILyews', tree-hugging greenie, more hard-core fundy Bible thumping, then some leftist Rush-bashing, titled in a manner reminiscent of my Moore-bashing thread earlier...
Am I schizophrenic? Multiple-personality-enabled? On the dope?
Well, none of the above, really. I consider myself to be a moderate extremist. Maybe a better term would be radical centrist. A hard-right left-winger? Leftist conservative? Fundie Libber? Neocon tree-hugger?
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Elena the Revelator
10 And the third angel blew his trumpet. And a great star burning as a lamp fell from heaven, and it fell upon a third of the rivers and upon the fountains of waters. 11 And the name of the star is called Wormwood. And a third of the waters turned into wormwood, and many of the men died from the waters, because these had been made bitter.
Do any of you happen to know the Ukranian word for 'Wormwood'? This lady knows it well. I cannot strongly enough suggest that you spend hours perusing her site, and thoroughly re-educate yourself about the greatest ecological disaster the world has ever seen, and remind yourself that it is still going on, as we go about our lives.
It will be 600 years before what's already been poisoned is safe enough to live on again, minimum. And that assumes that the hastily-constructed, now-deteriorating 'sarcophagus', or radiation shroud that shields the core remains intact throught those six long centuries. Part of it was temporarily removed for a few hours to make repairs, and the radiation levels in Kiev, on the good side, the side upwind from the core, rose by 100%.
The word? The Ukranian word for 'Wormwood'?
Chernobyl. Can it really only be a coincidence? Or are we to believe the official death toll of 56, and scoff at the idea that 'a third' of the men died of drinking those bitter waters?
Don't you dare forget. 21 years this April 26th. The kids in this country (USA) that will legally be able to drink this year have a lot of catching up to do, if they mean to put away as much vodka as the bitter, sad, men, women, and children of Ukraine and Belorus.
"What sort of light is that?" -- unnamed Soviet government official, in a helicopter over the site hours after the explosion.
"That... is the light of death." -- Valery Legasov
Kiev is 155 miles south of Chernobyl. 100% increase. A few hours.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
How the Dems can win my vote, and why it will never happen
I hereby add my voice to the chorus begun by my betters. I call on (this Democratic majority)Congress to:
1) Rescind the following dictatorial powers granted to the president:
a) 2001 Authorization for Use of Military Force
b) Military Commissions Act (AKA the 'Torture Bill')
c) War Authorization Resolution of 2002
2) Immediately pass a resolution in strongest possible language making an unsanctioned attack upon Iran a clear violation of the War Powers Act, and thereby an immediately impeachable offense...
3) ...and draft articles of impeachment for said impeachment immediately, and make them public, so there is no ambiguity in anyone's eyes that it is Congress' actual intent to dismantle this engine of war and death and greed, rather than merely control it themselves after the 2008 elections.
Congress: I implore you, for once, pull your greedy snouts out of the trough and look around you. Yes, you can take up the controls of that machine, and you can line your pockets with the gold it conjures from the blood of young American men and the bodies of foreign civilians. But it is wrong to do so, and the wrongness has gone on too long while you wrung your hands, not with compassion for the machine's victims, but envy for the gold it produced that you were not getting.
You are the Democrats. You're the ones that are supposed to be above all this. Prove it. My vote is low-hanging fruit. Take it in exchange for the ill-gotten blood money that a decent man would eschew.
Or, you know, prove yourselves to be not even the flip-side of the Republican's coin, but rather, the exact same image, stamped upon the exact same mettle.
