Validation is so... validating.

Not sure if I ever mentioned him in my previous blog, but I used to know a sociopath named... let's call him Carey. We met ages ago, being friends to the same friends, who had each of us in their circle, though ours did not overlap at the time. Sort of a networking thing.

Carey seemed normal enough when we met. Most sociopaths don't wear t-shirts that say things like, 'Avoid Eye-Contact, I'm Mentally Unstable', or 'I'm Sociopathic, Avoid Frustraing Me'. See, the thing that makes sociopaths so dangerous is that, although they have no regard for other people beyond what those people can provide for them, they do know that those other people will turn on them if they don't 'play along' with concepts like 'civilization', 'common decency', and silly nonsense like 'love', trust', and 'compassion'. So when they're in a social setting where any of the useful humanoid toys (their highest possible assessment of anyone but themselves) are around, they tend to play along to avoid icky consequences.

Carey was, by the time I met him, a virtuoso at acting normal. Among useful humanoid toys, that is. Around anyone he merely found convenient, or more convenenient to play along with than use, he was completely different. I saw this side of him more often than most, as I was not a particularly useful humanoid toy to him. A humanoid toy to be sure, we hung out frequently, and played RPGs together a lot, but what he considered 'useful' humanoid toys were the people he would trade girlfriends (or wives) with from time to time.

Being at an all-time low in my own self-esteem, I paid little heed to the difference in his behavior in different circles. I kind of assumed that I deserved that sort of treatment. Apparently my complacency made me a useful humanoid toy for him in another regard entirely from his favorite useful humanoid toys. I was someone he could stop acting human around, and wear fully the beast within. He displayed his infeidelity to me, to brag about it I can only assume. Shocked (as I had a minor crush on his long-time girlfriend and short-time wife), I remained silent, trying to reconcile this bizarre behavior on my own. It was actually around then that I really began my long road to recovery. In trying to make sense out of a blossoming tragedy in my life, I was laying the foundation for recovering from an earlier, and far greater one.

Apparently pleased with his 'total dominion' over his boasting toy, Carey decided to turn another facet to bear, his unbridled cruelty. I bore witness to this once, and that finally snapped me out long enough to do something. I denounced him to our common friends, exposed his infidelity, and severed all contact (with the exception of one unfortunate resurgence that was apparently an attempt to re-establish dominion over me, he must've missed his boasting toy). While our common friends had finally seen past his mask a little themselves, and were able to come to grips with the reality that I shone a light on for them, his wife was not so fortunate. Last I heard, she'd gained an enormous amount of weight (something has to fill the hole in your heart when there's no love there). Sadly there's at least one child involved too.

There are times though, dear readers, when I have wondered if I did the right thing. Should I have tried to forgive and forget? Should I have let other people handle other people's business, and minded my own? But then, today, just barely an hour ago, the world patted me on the shoulder, gave me a quick hug, and told me that everything was going to be allright, and I did the right thing.

See, I stopped at McD's for lunch today, because I'd been busy doing laundry and playing WoW, and forgot entirely to eat something. And naturally, because I was running late and in a hurry, there was a pretty good-sized line of cars in front of me. We creeped forward, and the late-model sedan with out-of-state plates (same state as Carey used to live in, no less) arrived at the microphone. And a steady stream of 'Ummm', and 'Duhhhhh' proceeded to issues from the driver's mouth. And I fumed.

'It's the same fucking McDonald's menu as everywhere else on the fucking planet, and it's even in English. They do speak English in your state, don't they?', I thought, fuming. Finally, after an interminable wait, the ass-tard managed to finish his order, and pull around. "Large #3, no onions, Iced Tea, and a Fillet-o-Fish sandwich only.", was my curtly snapped order. I happen to know what I want off a list of options that hasn't changed significantly in 10 years, go fig.

So I pull up behind out-of-state mouth-breather and glare at him as we wait for the cars ahead of us. And I see he has those little round-like-circular-not-round-like-oval lenses in his glasses. Just like Carey. And I see he's a scrawny, near-shaved-headed white dude. Just like Carey. And that's when it hit me.

Total, absolute, utter, soul-fulfilling validation. The kind most only ever daydream about.

Talk about something to be thankful for.