Ok, so, I'm over to Orlo and Jojo's yesterday to do the giftmas thing, right? And over dinner, I start having aural hallucinations, possibly brought on by Turkey Fever (dinner was sublime, it was so damn good) or maybe Devilled Egg Syndrome. I hear not one, but two people say that Jojo's sister Zuzu is being cheated on by her (in?)significant other.
I assumed these were hallucinations because while she is pretty (blue eyes, blonde hair, tall for a girl and somewhat athletic in body shape, I mean seriously, she's a friggin hottie), smart (she's a fucking RN, RN's are by default smarter than me, and that makes them damn geniuses), and you know, happens to be the mother of his daughter, he is abrasive, physically unattractive, and somewhat of a criminal, the way he works the welfare system (He's crippled, and collects benefits by not marrying Zuzu though they've been together over a decade).
Apparently he's come to believe all of the revolting shit he's said to Zuzu over the years. I've witnessed some of his put-downs to her in the past, and chalked it up to nerves or stress, although it always made my skin crawl. I've recently learned that what I bore witness to was merely the tip of the iceberg, and apparently he's waged a one-man psy-ops campaign against her for years.
And all I can assume (assuming that is true) is that he is so insecure in his feelings for her, and his own self-worth, that he needs to tear her down so she won't 'realize she's too good for him' and leave. Something that wouldn't have happened for a reason that wouldn't have been true, if he hadn't torn her down.
I had a great deal of respect for him in the past. He has worked and struggled all his life against odds I've never faced, (I can use my legs, my hands work pretty good too.) and seemed to do well enough. But if what people say is true, and he respects himself so little that he has to degrade the mother of his child to make her think he's 'all she deserves', and, you know, really isn't supporting himself, given the whole 'working the system' thing... Well, if he has so little respect for himself that all that is true, and now he's straying, why should I respect him again?
I don't know how much of this is true, but it comes from people that have always been straight with me, and is corroborated by my own observations from the past. Right now it's a damningly credible rumor. If I were a judge, I'd sign a search warrant based on this.
If I were him, I'd watch my ass.
Edit: forgot to add the 'important' part.
'Men' (and I use the term loosely) WTF? What is your damage? Are you all this stupid? Are you never satisfied? Is anything ever enough?
Dr. Nate prescribes the following:
You will burn a CD-ROM with the following songs (or load them into your MP3 player): Simple Man, Don't Need It All (the Seger tune, Beautiful Loser may also be the title), and listen to them while you sleep. You will have another CD with 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction' on it. During your waking hours, this song will play every five minutes, and send electric shocks to your genitals on the choruses, and anytime that you hum or sing along, or tap your feet. Do this for the next 85 years. Then die childless. I'll raise the next generation to treat women with the respect and LOYALTY they deserve.
Addendum--
I'd like to note for the record that I have been cheated on myself, and I've seen men get cheated on by their women, and in every single case I've witnessed it was always the same. Things went sour in the relationship for whatever reason, and the women basically started their next relationship before ending the first one. In my own case I'm assuming that 'went sour' refers to me wising up and 'running out of money to "loan" '. Apparently there's a large sub-strain of women who belive that being in a relationship is more important than being true to the one they're in. I'll let one of you prescribe a treatment for your own...
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3 comments:
Sounds like apt punishment.
I've never understood men who cheat. I know they do it, and they've been doing it forever. It's been done to me. But I still don't get it. If the relationship is that bad, leave. And then roll about with whomever you like.
Maybe I'm just too naive for human civilization.
Sadly, women are almost as good at this crap as men are. ALMOST. I think you are completely right when you say it has to do with respect. Respect for self. Respect for a significant other. Without it, the relationship is, at best, a lie.
I spent 20+ years with a man who regularly reminded me that I didn't deserve the most basic of respect. In fact, he'd say it just like, "Tammy, you just don't merit that much respect." Sure, at first, you know better, but after a while the self-doubt really begins to eat at you.
Throw in a kid or two (or three) and most decent people won't want to uproot them because of their own selfish needs. No matter how unselfish those most basic needs actually are. Not to mention that you love that person. And that you know that your leaving will hurt them and cause their life to become more difficult.
Is Zuzu standing by her man?
Don't know yet. Not sure how I'd go about finding out.
To be honest, I'm not sure how I'd reactto that. I'm aware that what I am seeing is a cross-section only, and that I amy be missing important parts of a larger picture. But too damn many things in my cross-section add up with what a lot of people with much better views of what's going on are telling me, and I know I don't like that one bit.
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